The Ten Commandments of Respiratory Care

1. Thou shalt answer all STAT pages within one (1) hour.
2. Night shift workers shall end their naps at least five (5) minutes before day shift arrives.
3. Stand not before the open ET tube, lest the wrath of glob be upon you.
4. Thou shalt refuse to perform anything termed "pulmonary toilet".
5. Thou shalt not take the name of ones obnoxious patients, coworkers or supervisors in vain.
6. Thou shalt never rush to fulfill a STAT incentive spirometry order.
7. Thou shalt not suggest Bi-PAP or serial ABGs on DNR patients.
8. Thou shalt always show up to work with a pen, stethoscope, watch and clean lab coat.
9. Thou shalt alays have someone "bag" during circuit changes, no matter how fast thy thinks thy are.
10. Thou shall not answer to "Hey Respiratory", or otherwise adulterate thyself.